muppet murder

Yesterday Aubrey and I drove to the outlet mall to look for a few birthday gifts for her boyfriend Kyle. Along the highway stood a billboard that displayed a massive head of Elmo perfectly perched to glare at those who passed by. I turned to her and said,

Me: You know, Elmo creeps me out a little.

Aubrey: Me too... I used to watch Sesame Street when he wasn't as popular. It was more Big Bird, and Oscar the Grouch, and Bert and Ernie when they still had Bert.

Me: What? They got rid of Bert?

Aubrey: Yeah, a few years ago. Since some people complained about the two living together. they thought it implied a gay relationship. you know how everything has to be p.c. these days...

Me: So they killed off a muppet?



After hearing the news, I felt sad for the loss of Bert. Out of all the characters, he's the only one I know that had my laugh and a shared fondness for paper clips. I wanted to do something to show my love for him and the thing I came up with was to say a few words.

Eulogy for Bert:



Bert, I loved everything about you from your boring persona to your unibrow. Your sense of fashion said it all. You reminded me of a guy I used to date, and I'll never forget that. The times I remember best were when you learned how to fish by yelling and when you chatted on a banana. Most of all, you helped me through the rough times of 2nd grade, teaching me that I am special just as I am.

decreasing the surplus population one hypothetical patient at a time

I've been taking a Foundations of Clinical Medicine class for the past few weeks, and to understand my story I should give some background info. Each week of FCM is like a mini rotation in preparation for the ones that I'll have this next year. So the first week was Ob/Gyn week, the second Psych week, last week was Peds week, and this week is Medicine week. During each section I've been assigned a different patient with a correlating disease for that field of medicine. I should note that these are standardized patients, a.k.a. actors who play up an illness. You gotta love those safety nets.

So this week I've been working with nine of my classmates on a case of a 54 y/o female with a history of significant alcohol use and Hepatitis B. Colby (one of my teammates) and I performed a complete history and physical on her, and of course her chief complaint was "I just don't feel right" x 1 month. nice. That's like going into the auto shop and saying "Um, there's something wrong with my car. not sure just what, but I can sense it. can you fix that? by tomorrow? grrreat." We got little from talking with her, aside from the fact that the day before she drank "half a fifth" and that multiple times a week she drinks before noon. In fact, when Colby asked if she drank to pass out, her exact words were "Yeah, on Fridays... and Wednesdays" and I chimed in "And Saturdays?" Yup. And Tuesdays, and Thursdays... She's a pro.

Her physical exam revealed acute liver failure. she's got severe jaundice, ascites, caput medusa due to portal hypertension. In other words, her liver has completely crapped out. If ever you are in a poker game where you find yourself betting organs, don't go for the liver. it's important.

Today she's now showing extensive signs of hepatic encephalopathy, which means that toxins are backing up in her blood and going to her brain since the liver can't process them properly. and she has an increasing fever which is difficult to treat since a LOT of drugs are metabolized in the liver. NOT GOOD. this is like One Foot In The Grave sort of news.

update: she's alive! our group rocked the house at treating her, and she pulled through. i knew there had to be a happy ending... after all, it's make believe.

wait. did you just feel that? hell froze over.

I joined facebook

Good ol' San Antonio

The PA national conference was this past weekend, and OMG I forgot how hot Texas is. Before my visit, I considered moving back (possibly Austin), and though I haven't thrown it completely out, I now am looking for a place that doesn't immediately melt my face when I step outside. Seriously, it was like walking through a Dali painting.

I went down with a few classmates and before we arrived I of course couldn't resist talking up Texas. Come on, It's Texas! With Big Tex at the state fair, big drinks of Diet Dr. Pepper, big people. So when we arrived, the manager at the front desk was very cordial and gave us a room with a "river view." Awesome, I thought since the last time I was there as a kid I remembered how cool I thought the river was. We get in the room and I walked over to the window and opened the drapes to find this ity bity trickle of water.

Julia sidles up beside me and says, "That's it?!?"

Me: "Yup."

Julia: "That a creek!"

Me: "Yup. Isn't it awesome..."


As luck would have it, Lark, an old roommate of mine who is originally from the east coast, moved to San Antonio awhile ago and we got together. It was good to see her and meet her very nice boyfriend and tour her new home (she has a home!!).

W. and Arnold give There Will Be Blood a little facelift

best part- listen for the line "that's a weapon of mass destruction!"

medical rite of passage

I performed my first male and female reproductive exams this evening and before walking through those exam room doors I was sure this would be the most uncomfortable experience ever, but after finishing, it wasn't at all what imagined.

There's a group called META whose members specialize in teaching medical students how to do a proper exam by being the patient. Though that sounds liked it'd be so awkward to have the guy that I'm examining directing me what to do, it was probably the best feedback I've ever gotten. and since I was in the room with three other fantastic students, the set up was just what I needed to keep the nerves at bay.

heavy metal with a different kind of hook

Yeah, I just caught myself crocheting to Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven. that's a new one.

nicknames

My friend Aubrey just finished her dissertation in anthropology and it's official, she's now Doctor Baadsgaard. How cool to be completely done with school. While she's wrapping up a few things she's been staying at my place for the past week. So I've been spending most of my days with her either exercising, shopping, exercising, chatting, exercising, or eating (yeah, she's a HUGE gym buff). Needless to say, she's a tough cookie packed in 100 lbs of muscle and bone. She's helping me to be equally as tough, and to start things off she's given me the nickname of "Jack The Smack." no joke. With that, I think I can quit school and try out for a spot on WWF.

On Saturday, we went to get groceries at Trader Joe's and the check-out guy had a name tag with "X-Box" on it. She questions him if that's his real name. He responds with a story of how he and his brother in college stayed up for countless hours playing Halo 2, thus the birth of the nickname. I mention my new one, and I think to get the full picture we need some quotes.

Me, joking with X-Box: Yeah, she gave me the nickname Jack the Smack.

X-Box completely stops scanning the groceries and stares at me like I just erased his high scores. He then turns his shock to tiny Aubrey and I can see him debating in his head whether to call protective services on me or just give her the keys to his getaway car out back.

Me, with a terrified look: Wait! I don't hit people! She gave me that name to toughen me up... If you knew me, you'd know big of a pansy I am... (as I trail off)... really, uh, pansy's my middle name....

Finally, after multiple confirmations from Aubrey that indeed I am a chicken, he starts to warm up to me again. But that look he gave was priceless.

free at last, free at last!

I've officially finished my didactic year of PA school with flying colors! YAY!! I'm done... with the first year, that is. But I think that's not too shabby. Now I get to relax for two weeks, and that includes a book list as long as my foot, a house to clean, a cute shoulder bag to make (I'd like to thank etsy for the inspiration), a little pampering, and lots and lots of naps. like the one i'm gonna take right. now.

a bit about me

I'm not sure where to start this since this is something I usually don't talk about much, but here goes. Today I got the results of another thyroid test and it's good news. I'm normal!

I'm sure most of you don't know that a few years back I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism caused by a toxic multinodular goiter. All that means is that a few lumps in my neck decided to go rogue and released more hormone than normal. The first time I noticed something was wrong was early into my college career, but I simply brushed it aside blaming my changes on the stress of school. I'm a pretty stubborn girl, so I ignored the signs and symptoms for a very, very long time until my levels were six times higher than the amount they should be. So I had dealt with hot flashes, the hand tremors, the overwhelming anxiety, the utter exhaustion, the increase in appetite and weight changes for over a year before my mom finally made me go to the doctor. By this time the heart palpitations were starting to kick in and I'd had enough of feeling so awkward in social situations that I finally went. Fun fact: for such a small organ, the thyroid affects the majority of cells in the body. A few tests later showed the nodules, and that's when I went through a simple treatment where they ablated my thyroid. It wasn't a demanding treatment at all... I just had to swallow a blue pill and stay away from people for a few days while the radioactive iodine flushed through my system. FYI: Your pee does NOT glow in the dark if you've been exposed to radiation. I checked. Well, the treatment of what I had causes the exact opposite problem, hypothyroidism, but it is easily managed with hormone replacement meds. That was the summer of 2006.

My story brings me to a month ago. I started to notice the same change that by now I am very familiar with. I noticed the anxiety return, the tremors come back, the tiredness sink in, the blunted thought process, and the most embarrassing bright red splotchy rash run across my chest, neck, and face. Basically not myself. So I stopped taking the meds, made the appointment with the doc and as I said earlier the results came back normal. AND it looks like my thyroid function is working well enough on its own that I don't have to take anything for it!

Now you're probably thinking, Jackie, that's great! And I couldn't agree with you more. I've never been happier to be wrong. So it looks like there can't be bad news then? And it's true, there can't be much of something bad if the results are so good. The thing that's bothering me is that I'm realizing that the struggles with school, the struggles with church, the struggles with myself, they are all taking a noticeable toll.

So to try and alleviate some of that, I've been getting my house in order, so to speak. I've been trying to take more care of my physical self (and I have some amazing friends here that are helping me stick to that). After a long drought, I now go to church and I'm working on things that I know I need to (a whole other story). And I'm trying to not let the small things get me down so much. Now, this is a new thing for me, being so honest and open and now feeling slightly vulnerable, but I felt like I needed to have sharing time. Not sure why just yet, but hopefully you get something from this.

side note: this week I completed the most dreaded oral exams, where I sat down with one of the faculty members and was grilled for an hour about stuff I've been learning the past year. For one of my diseases I had to explain in detail hypothyroidism. At the end of it I just wanted to yell out, NAILED IT, SUCKA! Apparently, that's frowned down upon, so I settled with a hand shake and a grin.

a look says it all

I was scrolling through pictures I've taken since last May, and I happened to stumble across these gems. I'm thinking I took these during one of my super late night study sessions as a stunt to finagle sympathy from the parents. My plan was to send them the first picture with a ransom note reading "Send $1,000,000,000,000 and a box of Girl Scout Cookies or else her face stays this way."

Since I already had the camera out I thought it a perfectly good waste not to take more.... which led me to this.











I like to believe that one day, when all my little grand kids tenderly gather around, I can show them these and lovingly tell them that Crazy runs in their genes, and they've got deal with it.

cherry blossoms

Let me introduce you to my friend Shelly.


A few weeks back this dear friend of mine from college and I took some time away from our busy schedules and met up in DC during the Cherry Blossom Festival. We spent hours enjoying the perfect weather and perfect timing because ALL of the trees were in bloom. She served her mission in Japan, which made it all the more interesting to stroll along the Tidal Basin while listening to her stories of the times she's celebrated spring with beautiful blossoms thousands of miles away. It was even better to meet Charlie, her baby boy, and get to know Dave, her husband, a bit better. I don't know if you've had the same experience, but when I've had friends that have been pregnant, delivered, and raised babies during which I've known they were expecting but I haven't seen them during any of that time, it somewhat surprises me when I see them for the first time. I think, Here's my friend! Looking just the same as I remember. Who's this tiny person standing next to her?

Photo time:

What's that in the sky? A bird? A plane?


This was something important that I have completely forgotten.
The profound crevices and healed wounds in the bark of the aged trees emphasized the delicate birth of the fresh flora (yeah, one Humanities minor later, I've perfected writing a load of crap).


Hello Myer's Family!

I love this picture of the fellas. Stellar admiration of the flowers Dave. Charlie has a tendency to scowl at anything from grass blades to moving objects, and here's an example of that.

It was so good to see her and her family... a respite that I very much needed.

a note on momma's hair

While talking with my dad tonight, he told me of an actual conversation that occurred over the weekend. Apparently him and my mom were working in the yard on Saturday and since it was a windy day my mom's hair whipped to and fro (so punny!) to form something like this:
Well, our neighbor strolled by and paused for a chat. As the conversation lulled, he must of said the first thing that came to his mind, which was:


Neighbor, turning to my mother: "I really like your hair. It's, uh, fluffy."

Now I don't know if this guy was having a bit of fun with my mom, or if he seriously fancied it. Either way, my mom took it as a compliment and all of us had a good laugh.

for fun, here's the first pic that pops up if you google fluffy:

baby genius pa

In our E Med class today we talked about Ob/Gyn emergencies, and I have never been more entertained, not so much because of the subject (kinda gross), but because of this amazing lecturer. Example: when she was explaining that in practice we have to do a pregnancy test on EVERY menstruating woman that walks trough the door, she follows with "I’ve seen more virgin births than any wise men." so, so funny.

the Lord DOES answer sporadic prayers

The Deseret Morning News published an article today explaining the church's new "Slow-Track" program. Finally, something in the church that I excel at.

the hair cut

Due to the melting of my brain, I've reverted to using excerpts from emails I've written to friends. This beauty comes from part of an email I wrote to Kristi explaining my spring break:

So this past week was way more busy than I expected, but it was all so much fun. It started last Friday when Mandy and I went to get hair cuts at a place called Bubbles. That morning I thought I woke up late for my e med test (my clock said 8:13 and they stop handing out the tests at 8:15). So I got dressed and ran to the school, swung open the door to the exam room to find it completely empty. I had a moment of panic thinking that everyone finished the test in the 8 minutes it took me to get over there, but when I looked at the clock it said 7:21 am. I realized I must of hit the hour button on my clock to set it ahead. By the way, I had fallen asleep with my my hair braided into tiny braids (the night before I was trying anything to help me keep awake while studying) so when I was running to the test I was frantically trying to unweave the dread locks. imagine this white girl tearing out her hair in the city of minorities. My doorman, paper man, and security guard at the school all had a good laugh. To top it off, when I unraveled the last braid, my hair was the size of Bon Jovi's hairdo circa 1987. So I end up going to my hair appointment sporting a muppet on my head. good times. She ended up cutting like 4 inches off (it had gotten sooooo long, down to the small of my back), and it is so much more manageable and still long.

news news news

So today our class celebrated receiving our official assignments for clinical rotations. I didn't realize how big of a deal it was until our director broke out the champagne to ring it in. Personally, I think they just needed an excuse to 1) polish off the left overs from St. Patty's, 2) nurse the hangovers and 3) throw back one before noon. I love it here.

And now, for my official rotations. Drum roll please... And the winners are:

Surgery in New Britain, CT
Peds in Waterbury, CT
Ob/Gyn in Dover, DE
Psych in Olean, NY
ER in Reading, PA
Internal Med in Hershey, PA

Though I'll be living out of suitcases till February 2009, I'm beyond excited to try out these new places to see if I might potentially want to settle down here.

I also found out today that our school is going to be one of the forty eight to compete at the National Academy of Physician Assistants Student Challenge Bowl! And I'm on the team! What's the Challenge Bowl, you ask? No, it's not a jousting tournament with your local crapper. It's a competition against 47 other PA programs, with three people on a team and the winner gets fame, fortune, and... well, pretty much nothing. Which I think is something to drink over, so raise your glasses. Here's to not getting knocked out in the first round!

cry for help

So I've volunteered to cook Easter dinner for about a dozen friends and I've decided to have roasted chicken and honey baked ham (to appease those that must have pork on Christ's day... yeah, he was a Jew). I've got two good recipes for the meat, but I have virtually no recipes for good sides. So here's a plea to all you dear friends for your stellar recipes for veggies/potatoes/anything else that you'd think would be good with los main courses.

Second: my friends Mandy and Soren are getting married and since they plan on having some sort of DJ at their wedding, they are asking for music suggestions. Got any?

I recognize two favors in one post is a tall order, but I know you have mad skills. many thanks.

loved it

Just came home from a concert with Sons of William as the opening for Griffin House. I HIGHLY recommend both... picture Tom Petty meets Travis.

(Thanks to Heather and Andrew for the introduction)

this stuff actually happens

Last night while heading to dinner I watched a car pull away from a gas pump with the hose still attached! And it started to drive off with the handle jetting out from the side and the hose flopping around before finally noticing and pulling over. Jen and I were surprised to see that gas didn't spray everywhere, and even more so that the attendant lazily strolled to the car as if nothing happened... must happen a lot.