Stephen Colbert vs Bill O'Reilly

Recently the "Great Pundit Swap" of 2007 happened between Colbert on The Factor and O'Reilly on The Report (Part 1 and Part 2). They visited each other's respective show and Colbert's quips were just the thing needed to make it through an hour of Papa Bear's program.

Favorite Quote:
Colbert on Bill's show: "What are you on? What gives you the strength? Jesus Christ or Pat Robertson's protein shake?"


I love that man. I'd like to publicly thank Kristi for introducing me to the genius of Colbert.

filling the time

Yesterday I made tamales all morning with some gals from work and then joined a dojo. What got me from point A to point B I don't know, but $115 later I'm a student of the Orem Wing Chun Kung Fu school.

For the next two months I'm going to call my instructor "sifu" and learn how big of a pansy I am. I'm just grateful I'm in it with a couple of good friends.

money money money

Have you noticed a correlation with coasts and cost? The most expensive places to live are either on the east or west coast of our country. For example, I've been looking online for apartments in Philadelphia and it is outrageous how much money they ask for. True, I have been sheltered from the real world having had the luck to find a place for $275 a month. Nonetheless, I didn't expect to pay FIVE TIMES as much.

I've found some cute places online in the city of brotherly love. My favorites include the Metropolitan, the Packard, One Franklin Town, and Museum Towers. Sounds fancy. And I'm starting to feel like I'm living the game of Monopoly.

what was i thinking

I visited my aunt and uncle last Sunday and as always the subject of my dating habits came up. I mentioned in jest that my mom had already picked out my veil (side note: my mom actually called me a few years ago stating those words), and since that crucial accessory had been chosen I could now get hitched to any guy on the street.

That got me thinking about the type of guys I dated in college and realized that it was eclectic group of men including this guy. Such highlights included a divorced future dentist that had an inclination to lie, a five-foot seven-inches hottie that had a one track mind, a wanna-be comedian that drove me nuts, and a handful of computer geeks and science nerds.

It's coming up on two years since graduation and I've realized one thing. Thank heaven I'm not stuck with any of them.

technical advice

i really, really want to learn how to make text in the body of a paragraph have a link in it without having the whole link displayed. I refer to a few posts ago when i listed all the music i was listening to and it had the ugly link written out. I'll give a dollar to who ever explains it to me first and it actually works with their instructions. Ready, go.

(if this peaks your interest, ten dollars is on the table for who ever can download iTunes onto my computer and have it actually open).

I'm back!

After a half a dozen of flights (and a missed one), a visit to Arizona and Pennsylvania and Texas, I am back home. I have lots of fun stories from my trips including one from an interview I had where I literally turned a tomato red with white splotches and I started mixing my words so profoundly that even I couldn't make out what I was saying. At one point the interview actually asked me to re-read a question since she couldn't understand my crazy talk. That's when you know you've hit a low point.

k folks, let's talk resolutions. there are some people out there that don't believe in them; they'd rather live a good life from day to day and stick to their high morals everyday of the year. I'm not one of them. I need some sort of a starting line with a heafty prize at the end in order for me to get a moving. So my roommate and I have decided to have a wager. $150 buck to whom ever looses the most weight (we're 5 pounds different). And another with my dad with a prize quite a bit more than that to whom ever can loose 50 lbs. first. Bring it on pops!

Other goals:

Reduce swearing. I heard once that those who swear lack vocabulary. likely true. this leads me to...

Read a book every month (something not required for school). I've noticed these past few months that reading has reduced stress, which is always a plus. another thing that could help this is to...

Reduce sugar intake. If you truly know me, you know that i consume vast quantities of sugar. some folks have crack, I've got the 'cane. This past year I think I've kept alive three small villages in Brazil from the amount of candy I've purchased. So, this year is the year to cut back.

and that's about all I can take for now. I'll keep you posted.

Pseudo-Christmas

Since I worked for Christmas Eve and Christmas day, yesterday and today are the substitutes. Yesterday evening we went to a sushi place that was delicious and quaint. That afternoon I went to see DreamGirlz with Kristi, Kristin, and Jenny, and I must say that the movie will be a surprise to those who watch it. Warning: Expect impromptu singing dialog at any moment.

This morning I learned how to cook lasagna and I think we may play a few games. If you have never palyed games with my family you must still have a shread of respect for us. Just ask Kristi, we become completely competitive and viscious. I am excited to see who cries first.

my music lately

Ok Go
site: http://www.okgo.net/news.aspx
videos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NINJQ5LRh-0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEYSlut0Iuc&mode=related&search=

hellogoodbye
site: http://www.hellogoodbye.net/
videos:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1ryiaPD47A&mode=related&search=
http://www.myspace.com/hellogoodbye

Dandy Warhols
site: http://www.dandywarhols.com/news.html
Bohemian like you (Warning: if you watch the video on youtube be prepared for flashage)

Regina Spektor
site: http://www.reginaspektor.com/
video: http://youtube.com/watch?v=4NBArHgZntE

jack's mannequin
site: http://www.jacksmannequin.com/
music: http://www.myspace.com/jacksmannequin

dancing in style

when you've got time on your hands:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUxXpEiVXHc

a little fun

weeeee!

the most wonderful time of the year

I love this season when the christmas tree glows in the living room, people bring by cookies for the fun of it, and songs play on the radio that i know the words to.

I especially like this time of the year because it's when i get to participate in some of my favorite family traditions. Growing up my dad and I used to attend the local sing-in of Handel's Messiah. This year I flew solo and heard it at the Provo Tabernacle last Saturday, and I must say the soprano was the best I have ever heard in my life. well done, soprano lady, well done.

Overall, it was two sections sung by the base that hit home. I must of never payed much attention to them before because this is the first year the words had meaning. The sections were Behold, I tell you a mystery and The trumpet shall sound. I suggest listen to it (along with Worthy is the Lamb).

In the program was a synopsis of the life of Handel and how he was inspired to write such a influential piece. It states:
"The time he received the libretto for Messiah was the lowest point of his career. He was suffering from serious illness, extreme financial difficulties, and constant overwork. Thus, Messiah is a masterpiece born of deep despair and humility."

I don't know about you folks, but this past year was one of the most trying of my life. I recognize I am young and that saying that sounds pretentious and silly. But for me it has been a tough one. It gives me comfort to know that even those considered the "greats" of our time felt the strains of daily life, and hope seeing that in our lowest moments our most important work can come from us.

horrified

as we all know, my brother is a player. nix that, he is a man whore. yesterday i called him up to let him know what time dinner was.

he answers. "Hell0"
me: "Hey brother. dinner is at 5:10"
-giggles of girl in background
me: "you busy?"
greg: "yeah"
me: "so which one is this, the eight year old" (side note: he is dating someone who is 18)
greg: "uh huh"
long pause...
me: "well, i gotta go"
greg: "k." (but when he said "k" it was muffled like someone was sucking his face)
me: "are you making out with a girl with your sister on the phone?!?!"
greg: uncontrollable laughing, cummings's style
-disgusted, i hung up

TAKE A MOMENT, MAN, TO BREATHE

i'll work on it

i have been a bit busy these past few weeks, and i have some good news. so far i have been invited to interviews at three schools including St. Francis, Drexel, and Arizona. I am waiting on my top two choices including U of U and Southwestern. But let's be honest, i don't have three years health care experience, so little hope at the U of U. and with my GRE score, the folks at Southwestern know why I always am allowed to get the kid's meal at Fudrucker's. i'm special.

Other events include creating my own theory in my psychology class (it sure looks a lot like Newman and Newman's theory, but with a little Erickson and Freud added in). i have also been trying to write and grade two exams for the parasitology class. Thus, the busy week with no writing.

i know what you're thinking... lame excuses, jackie, for not writing, but i promise i'll work a little harder this week.

an interesting night

Last night I sat through my cousin's high school rendition of Henry V. Though it may sound dreadful seeing Shakespeare performed by 12 year olds, I was highly entertained.

Aside from the bit of confusion of who Harry was (apparently the actors version of the name Henry pronounced with a British accent), along with the muffled dialogue, I believe I got the gist of what was going on.

There was a war between England and France, and that's about it.

Side note: You know those moments in your life where you can't control your laughter when you know you should, especially because you are laughing at, not with, someone and you just know that someone's parents are sitting directly behind you in the theatre. so you muffle your laughter, but it keeps on coming throughout the entire scene. and then the next one.
that might of happened.

peer pressue at BYU

this is a conversation i overheard while walking through the library yesterday (names have been altered to more fully reflect the innocent):

Esther: ...my roommates and I are baking cookies tonight. do you want to come?
Nephi: sounds great! i'm there. how about you Nebuchadnezzar?
Nebuchadnezzar: Um, i have a lot of homework to catch up on and.....
Esther: oh, come on. it's only cookies. and there'll be hot chocolate too...
Nephi: ...and everyone is going...

Stay strong, Nebuchadnezzar, stay strong.

decisions

It's soon coming up on December and awhile back I decided that it would be best for me if I moved back to Texas come January. The only thing preventing me from returning is the thought of moving back home. just the idea of living with my rents again makes me cringe. Not that I don't love my parents and all, but it feels like I'm regressing. I thinks it's time for a list.

Pros of moving back:
free rent
establish residency for PA school
more to do
not Provo
TV in house
no crack dealers on my block
new start

Cons:
moving home
i hate my room
no job down there
rent for my own place is 3-4 times as much
the sun scalds
the water tastes funny
other lame reasons to make this list longer

If i get accepted to PA school then it wouldn't be that big of a deal since school would start in May or August. But if I don't, then I couldn't afford my own place and I'd be stuck LIVING IN MY PARENTS HOUSE.

some good advice is needed

what will be the end of me

I posted this a few months ago, but somehow removed it. i'm giving it a second go:

I took a stroll around my neighborhood a few days ago to get acquainted with the area. As I was walking, I noticed the singing birds, the wind blowing in the trees, the graffiti of multiple gangs living in the area. All the makings of a pleasant experience.

Well, as I was contemplating what would be the best opportunity for someone to mug me, I heard a faint noise. It was a far distance off so I couldn't pinpoint what exactly was curdling my blood. But as it came closer my face turned white, for here pulling up next to my house was a 1987 Geo Metro that someone obviously had installed the entire electronics section of Wal-Mart playing music I can only describe as instant death. The booming base line, the accordion trills, the screeching voice. Indeed, I had experienced Mexican music in Dolby surround sound. For a good sampling of what I hear every morning, simply go to this Wikipedia site and listen to the Audio Sample of Nortena over and over again. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Music_of_Mexico

what scary dreams are made of

I went to California this past weekend to visit some friends and while there I went to a Pirates Dinner Adventure show. It was explained to me that the show was like Medieval Times but way more entertaining. And how it was.

The basic plot line included a busty princess and a "magical golden gypsy" (a.k.a. a scantily clad acrobat) being kidnapped by Captain Sebastian the Black's crew. As luck would have it, Sebastian's son, Benjamin the Blue, falls in love with the princess and has to fight with the five other crewmen (each dressed in a color of the rainbow) to win the heart of his lady. I was assigned to be on Jack the Red's cheering team, who was the oldest and roughest looking of the six but still had a defined six pack and won the position of first mate. Jack looked the role of a pirate, whereas poor Benjamin just lost his job as a Power Ranger.

My Review:
The pirates shirts are ripped/taken/fall off and the audience is left starting at six beyond buff men performing song and dance on a makeshift pirate boat.


If you'd like to learn more of how to see these half naked men, please visit their website:
http://www.piratesdinneradventure.com/california/home.html

where i get my wandering mind

i was talking on my phone tonight with my mom and after hanging up i realized that the conversation followed a rather off-the-wall path. Topics included normal things like my day/work/school, and then violently veered toward: her finding me the perfect man (who happens to be 10 years older, "but Jackie he has is house paid off"), how when people age they start to smell, how i don't smell (thanks for the compliment mom), to how much dresses cost at the Rose Parade, how my mom plans on buying me one, to how she got trapped in an elevator and started to scream so loud the fire department was called, to circumcision, to vomiting, etc. Please note I did not bring up a single topic.

where on earth does this come from

i am the worst person ever

While driving to work today a lady pissed me off by slamming on her brakes at a light that wasn't red. I was so livid that I not only flicked her off while waiting at the light, but also as I drove by her once we got through the light. As I walk into my work, I see the driver and her boyfriend/husband walking towards the building. For all I know she was visiting her baby in the NICU or dying mother on the floor.

I felt so guilty that I am making myself do 10 hail mary's and 12 of the lord's prayer.